


A Different Kind of Takeout

by blueelvewithwings



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Blood Drinking, Crack, F/F, M/M, Quarantine, Vampire AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:01:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28839795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueelvewithwings/pseuds/blueelvewithwings
Summary: Mick is the last of them that tested positive for Covid, and even though vampires are unaffected by the human disease, they can still spread it. So now they are all stuck at home... and well, that seems like it's time for takeout.(These are very morally concious vampires. Only ethical consumption of blood given by willing donors is allowed.)
Relationships: Charlie/Zari Tomaz | Zari Tarazi, Ray Palmer/Mick Rory
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	A Different Kind of Takeout

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gingercanary](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gingercanary/gifts).



> This is what happens when you leave Freckles and I alone and bored :D
> 
> Not beta read, and written in like one hour xD

„What the fuck“, Mick growled, slamming his phone down.

„Huh?“ Zari looked up from where she was stuffing an entire donut in her mouth as she read Mick‘s latest manuscript, and Mick had to hold back from telling her that she looked like a hamster. She‘d probably send her entire cat chat following to bully him or something.

„S positive“, he grumbled instead, gesturing at his phone.

„Eh, so are we all. Nothing to be done but wait it out“, Ray chimed in, and easily positioned himself right in Mick‘s lap, as if he‘d belonged there for hundreds of years. „Not like the virus can harm us.“

„Mh… I hate bagged blood… tastes like plastic“, Mick grumbled, and received a too-soft kiss on the temple from his partner.

„Well… at least if we‘re stuck inside and have to order out like everyone else, we can‘t accidentally turn anyone at the Donation Center“, Ray pointed out with a sideye to Zari, who seemed very much entranced in what she was currently reading.

„Sweet Ray, we‘re better than that… you were just a little accident“, Charlie purred, then draped themselves all over Zari, clearly trying to distract her from her reading.

„Just an accident? I was a perfectly normal human, and you turned me into a vampire!“, Ray complained, gaining puzzled looks from the other three.

„Haircut, just last week you said it was ‚so cool‘ that you were a vampire now“; Mick pointed out and grabbed his beer bottle holding the only beer that still tasted nice to him – blood. Sadly, it was the bagged kind.

„Yeah, but… it‘s the principle of it“, Ray complained, but then trailed off confusedly when Mick stole his pizza.

„There‘s peperoni on this. Pork.“ Mick informed him and started eating it himself.

„Does it count as pork if it‘s more gimmick than nutrition?“ Ray asked him with a pout, and Mick shrugged.

„You said you still wanted to observe, so. Peperoni pizza for Charlie and me, Mushroom and onion for Zari and you.“

With another pout, Ray got up and strolled back over the pizza boxes, picking out a slice of mushroom and onion pizza. „So… now that you can‘t go out anymore because you‘re also positive, that means we need to order blood then, as well? It‘s not like you can bring us any from the Center anymore.“

„On it“, Charlie called, scrolling on their phone.

„Can you… check if they have organic options?“ Ray asked, and Charlie rolled their eyes.

„You know, not sure if it makes any difference, really… if what they eat really makes it into their blood like that… but sure, I‘ll check.“

„You‘ll also check that it‘s given freely, yeah?“ Ray checked, and Mick chuckled.

„Drinking blood of unwilling humans has been out of fashion since the late Middle Ages, so yeah, they‘ll make sure it‘s given freely.“

„Why is that better, anyway? Apart from like… the ethics of not killing and not assaulting people?“ Zari asked, abandoning the book and turning around to face them.

„More sustainable“, Charlie replied, then put away their phone. „Ordered. Should be enough for a two-week supply for us.

„Sustainable?“ Zari asked, and this time didn‘t shoo Charlie off when they climbed in her lap, mimicking Ray who‘d returned to Mick‘s lap as well.

„Yup. Sustainable. Leave the human alive, they‘ll make more blood, means you can have another meal from them in a bunch of weeks. Make it alright for them, and not traumatizing, and they might just come back freely, offering to donate blood for us rather than forcing us to take it with violence. Plus, tastes better with less adrenaline. Relaxed humans are tastier.“

„I can second that, my most relaxed human was definitely the tastiest“, Zari chimed in, and ducked when Ray hurled Mick‘s empty beer bottle at her head. „What? You were!“

„It‘s so weird though“, Ray murmured, obviously not feeling any actual upset towards Zari anymore – they‘d been through that soon after he‘d been turned, and Zari had been devastated at what she‘d done… but now, they were fast friends, and apart from regularly forgetting that he was not a human anymore, Ray had adapted just fine. „Like… that you see humans as food providers only. Don‘t you like.. have friends anymore?“

„Ray, darling, I‘ve been a vampire since before friggin‘ Plato was alive, no I don‘t have any humans friends anymore“, Charlie drawled, and Zari chuckled.

„Yes, babe, we all know you‘re the oldest here, and you‘re ancient and you‘ve seen it all… and well, Ray, you know I just met with my brother the other day… silly idiot probably wasn‘t careful and got himself infected and passed it on to me… He‘ll be fine though, only has a bit of a cough.“

They all turned to Mick, who shrugged. „Been on this for a while, too. My partner wanted to be turned, didn‘t work out… after that I didn‘t want human friends.“

„You don‘t want friends anyway“, Ray told him, taking Mick‘s face in his hand. Mick looked at him, and found himself smiling back at his silly, all too happy partner. With a little nod, Mick acquiesed to the kiss that Ray was clearly requesting, and then he flipped the middle finger at Charlie and Zari, who promptly made gagging noises before moving into a kiss of their own.

„No… I don‘t want friends, but I have them anyway“, Mick grumbled then, and pulled Ray closer so he could snuggle in and rest his head on Mick‘s shoulder. „But I have them anyway.“

„And now you‘re stuck with us!“, Charlie grinned, and flipped a finger right back at Mick.

„Been stuck with you for centuries!“ he gave back, and Charlie laughed.

„You wanted to be turned to bring revenge to your partner‘s asshole dad… I just gave you what you wanted“, they sing-sanged, giving their best impression of being innocent.

„And _you_ just wanted someone who‘d be forced to hang out with you so you could have a friend“, Mick grumbled, accusingly, though they all knew that he loved Charlie dearly, for all their chaos and somewhat destructive tendencies.

„Yep. Yep, and now you‘re all stuck with me!“ They called, grinning, and Zari just shook her head and picked up her phone.

„If you don‘t stop being happy about us being quarantined, I‘ll film you and uploat it on cat chat“, she warned, as if they didn‘t all know that her followers _adored_ seeing her partner and wanted to see as much of Charlie as they could.

„Quarantine isn‘t so bad. We can play lots of board games!“

„Do you know how many board games I‘ve played in my life?“ Charlie groaned, and shook their head. „Let‘s play Fortnite instead!“

„Fortnite is so not in anymore, it‘s only for the kids“, Zari pouted, while Mick shrugged. He wasn‘t really all that interested in either, he‘d just watch.

„Eh, Fortnite is from like yesterday“, Charlie grumbled, and tried to boot it up, only to have Zari take the controller away from them.

„That‘s only because you‘ve been alive since… what was it? Before Plato was born? Fortnite is out. We can play Among Us.“

„Among Us!“ Ray called, and immediately abandoned Mick‘s lap to join Zari and Charlie on the sofa for a game.

Mick grinned, and watched the three of them settle in, bickering and laughing and wholly unconcerned about the world outside.

He grabbed another blood-filled beer bottle and huffed a laugh. That was his life. And he wouldn‘t want to change it for the world.


End file.
